TMI, Santa

I love the holidays...the lights, the decorations...

but you know, I tell ya I never have had the desire to decorate with a naked Santa in the bath. 

Never.

Have you?

This is a side of Santa we don't need to see!

Who thought this would sell??

Padded Room

I don't have TV channels, so I don't even know if this is still on...

But isn't it amazing how people can be writing on a dimpled, squishy surface and still have text that is perfectly flat and readable? 

Photoshop Sherlock Holmes to the rescue!

T-Fail!

In my last post I commented on the "Sexualization of America"...

Here's one for ya!

REALLY!?! You can't try to sell a frying pan without comparing it to sex?? That is so lame. And gross. 

Makes me *not* want to purchase this product!

Not Reddi For This...

I recently came across these ads in Better Home and Gardens, I couldn't believe it! I love cute fruit, but sexy ones that are apparently into S&M?? Why is this sexy fruit with boots and a whip telling me to be naughty in a "family" magazine?

One thing that irritates me is what I call the "Sexualization of America" in which perfectly ordinary words, references or products become sexual in nature. 

What are these ads teaching kids? Or grown women for that matter?

I'm aware of whipped cream's naughty side:

{although they actually used shaving cream when they shot this}

but this is ridiculous!

Mental note: Don't buy Reddi Whip. Ugh.

Loco Logos

As seen on campus:

The latest of the graphic design students' logo attempts.

Some were better attempts then others.

At first glance I thought this was underwear. And then I saw the scroll-y parts and thought it looked like womanly reproductive parts.

Either way...No!

And then there was this one:

Did you catch that the pink is supposed to be a shadow of a pig?

No?

What a surprise.

You shouldn't have to stare at a logo to try and "get it".

Cause at first glance I thought that dog had peed the floor!

Hot Stuff

As seen in real life at JoAnn's Fabrics:

I kid you not. Right there with all the clearance Christmas fabrics. It was so craptastic!

Some questions arise:

• Who designed this? I've never had the thought "You know what would be nice for Christmas crafting? Some half naked men printed on cotton."

• Who was the purchaser for JoAnn's? Again, why would you have this in a "family" store? Do we need covers for fabric like they block Cosmo covers at the checkout? Who sexualizes Christmas?

• Who would buy this and what would you make with it? I probably don't want to know. Me and my puritanical ways don't need a Playgirl tree skirt. Men wouldn't want anything with half naked men on it and what would a woman make with this?

No wonder it didn't sell! Hello, I could have told you that, JoAnn's.

No Bones About It

De-fleshed hands? Ew.

Good grief that's a creepy ad.

And I'm pretty sure that Bones in her heels would be taller than Booth in his socks.

And do the math with her left arm- that's one long arm. Gotta love Photoshop.

This ad makes me think of the scene in The Mummy where the man sticks his hand in the statue and it gets eaten to the bone! Blech!

Note to advertisers: De-fleshed people do not make me want to view your show! I'm trying not to gag.

Really?

First came the ads on top of the pump.

Then came the ads on top of the handle.

Ads are stinkin' everywhere these days:

Really?

I can't pump gas without an ad zip tied on the hose?

Is anyone even going to read it?

No.

It's just another crap idea that just gets in the way when you're trying to pump gas.

Hmm...

Don't get me wrong, I love Cougartown...

...so lets enjoy an ad:

Willing to bet that none of them actually posed for this pic in a group...or near a pool.

And where the heck is Grayson's right arm??

Product WIN

To demonstrate what a good product or ad is (so there's something to compare the bad stuff to), I'd like to start a feature here on Badvertising called WIN.

Drumroll please, here's the first:

Finally someone was smart enough...

...to design an ice cream container WITH a spoon in the lid!

Product WIN.

Ahh, nostalgia...

Let's take a stroll through the Vermont Country Store catalog, shall we?

There shouldn't be anything scary, just good old fashioned fun.

Wait, what? Who on earth would want a continuously chirping ornament???

Moving on...

Hey look, they sell chocolate ladybugs. Aw, how cute. Wait what's that?

 AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!



Yes, that's really what you think you're seeing- a marzipan little guy with a gold coin up his bum.

Once again:

AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

I do not think you know the meaning of that word...

A tree removal bag for "the annual rite"? Cutting down the tree, ok. Bringing it in and decorating it, sure. But tossing out a tree is a "rite"?  I don't take pictures when I take down my tree.

"Kids, lets gather and look at the photos of us dragging the tree out to the curb year after year."

Here's a definition of "rite":

Rite: 1:A solemn or religious ceremony performed in an established or prescribed manner. 2: Any formal practice or custom.

I didn't know that taking your tree out to the curb (we throw ours in our pond for the fishies) was so important. Now I know.

Oh My...

Just in time for Halloween...

                              

                             ...a skeleton having an obgyn exam. Or giving birth. Take your pick.

Either way, it's not very modest!

What happened to its shoulders and hip bones??

Contortionist

Can you see it?

I said, can you see it?

That's right, that's not her left leg!

My mom and I both tried to recreate this pose and 1) it wasn't comfortable in the least and 2) if you are able to bend this way, you would show more shoulder/boobage through the water.

It's not physically possible to do this how it's pictured...and wouldn't you drown?

Actually it looks like she's shaving someone else's leg. Hmmm.

Oh, and I always shave outdoors in Hawaii versus my rust stained bathtub, don't you?

Forbidden

I went with my cousin to a bridal show in 2005 when she was getting married...I kept this photog's brochure because it was SO bad!

• Strike One: Um, hello? You need new pics, we're in the future now! Styles have changed since 1991.
• Strike Two: What is up with that slogan? Forbidden passion? You're a wedding photographer!
• Strike Three: OH MY GOSH what is up with that picture?!?!? Why would you want to be photographed as though you were on the pot with your floating disembodied ghost of a husband?!?!?

Why did this person think this flyer would HELP them get business??

Sisters....Sisters....

I always sit entwined with my sister's bare legs in the back of the limo while eating snacks, don't you? I think most siblings are like, "DON'T TOUCH ME!" when it comes to backseats.

And the hump in the floor looks odd too- I realize that cars have them but here it just looks like they tried to hide a body under the carpet. In this case I'd say it's ok to Photoshop that away!

Affirmative Action

There's so many Disney princesses of color, why does only one make it onto the book? And why is she at the BOTTOM of the cover? What is this book trying to say?

Nailed It

Is it just me or does it look like someone is a mass murderer with a pile of fingers that they like to gussy up? EW!

How We Roll

Yeah puppies are cute and all, but isn't it a bit manipulating? We're supposed to buy a product just because it has a cute puppy on it? And with the whole "Roll Over" on the package, wouldn't this make more sense if it were made for dogs?? What the heck do puppies have to do with tp?

And the poor puppy doesn't look like he's rolling over, poor thing looks like a turtle stuck on his back!

Suave?

Not really sure why bodywash ads have to show so much skin...

...but look closely- what appears to be her stomach/hip is actually her leg! Most people aren't that flexible in real life...it looks like she's holding some cadaver leg!

At least the model didn't have to pose with wet slimey fruit on her...it's totally Photoshopped on.